"A tactical martini that tastes like a bowl of fruit, with a bullet on a skewer instead of an olive."
A new member of the cocktail family has been created this fine evening. It shall henceforth be known as the "Wombat Hand Grenade," so named for one of its ingredients. A lesser version for the faint at heart--heretofore known as "sissies," will be included at the end of this post in the form a a substitute ingredient.
A brief back-story is required: Many moons ago, upon the banks of a vile, unnamed creek, stood a bar known to the locals as "The Dog's Breath Saloon." One of the groups of said locals was lead by myself, and a nefarious character known only as "Tex Wombat." One of Tex's talents was brewing home-made, illegal liquor in a laboratory that only his closet fellow villains were aware of (his living room.) The product of Tex's handiwork was referred to as "Wombat Juice," in order to differentiate it from other locally brewed hooch. It possessed a power to make grown men golf, blow things up, drink some more, then blow things up that golfed.
Meanwhile, back in the present...
This evening, while digging into the dusty recesses of the Bonkersane Liquor Cabinet, I happened upon a mason jar filled with a sinister looking clear liquid. I pulled it to the front, blew off 18 years of dust, examined the non-existent label, opened the lid, sniffed the contents, and promptly began plotting a cocktail. The end result leaves me wishing I'd saved some dynamite from the old days, for there must be an unsuspecting golfer somewhere at 11 o'clock on a Tuesday night...
THE RECIPE (For Wombats) :
(1) Rocks glass, filled with two ice cubes.
(1) Shot Wombat Juice ( or whatever 190 proof paint thinner you can lay your hands on.)
(1) Shot French Chambord ( to pave your way to hell.)
Drink. Repeat.
SISSY RECIPE:
Substitute (1) Shot citrus flavored vodka for Wombat Juice.
Drink. Apologize. Move to France.
A new member of the cocktail family has been created this fine evening. It shall henceforth be known as the "Wombat Hand Grenade," so named for one of its ingredients. A lesser version for the faint at heart--heretofore known as "sissies," will be included at the end of this post in the form a a substitute ingredient.
A brief back-story is required: Many moons ago, upon the banks of a vile, unnamed creek, stood a bar known to the locals as "The Dog's Breath Saloon." One of the groups of said locals was lead by myself, and a nefarious character known only as "Tex Wombat." One of Tex's talents was brewing home-made, illegal liquor in a laboratory that only his closet fellow villains were aware of (his living room.) The product of Tex's handiwork was referred to as "Wombat Juice," in order to differentiate it from other locally brewed hooch. It possessed a power to make grown men golf, blow things up, drink some more, then blow things up that golfed.
Meanwhile, back in the present...
This evening, while digging into the dusty recesses of the Bonkersane Liquor Cabinet, I happened upon a mason jar filled with a sinister looking clear liquid. I pulled it to the front, blew off 18 years of dust, examined the non-existent label, opened the lid, sniffed the contents, and promptly began plotting a cocktail. The end result leaves me wishing I'd saved some dynamite from the old days, for there must be an unsuspecting golfer somewhere at 11 o'clock on a Tuesday night...
THE RECIPE (For Wombats) :
(1) Rocks glass, filled with two ice cubes.
(1) Shot Wombat Juice ( or whatever 190 proof paint thinner you can lay your hands on.)
(1) Shot French Chambord ( to pave your way to hell.)
Drink. Repeat.
SISSY RECIPE:
Substitute (1) Shot citrus flavored vodka for Wombat Juice.
Drink. Apologize. Move to France.
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